Dear My Younger Self…

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I have been doing a lot of reflection these past couple of weeks. And, one of the reasons I started my blog was to reflect and empower anyone who would read it. So, here we are. This is my story. A story of discovery. Identity crisis. Family secrets. And Triumph.

Dear 10 year old Sarah,

You are strong. You are kind. You are confident. You are sensitive. You worry. You wonder. You are a thinker. A lot. Always thinking about everything. You don’t seem to fit in school or even at home. These years are going to be very fragile for you. You will question everything.

You will live with your grandmother for a while. You will wake up every day and go to the farm with her. You will learn how to plant sweet potatoes, cassava and bananas. You will pack a sauce pan, 2 plates, and 2 cups, because you will be at the farm all day. You will hate it at first.  You will drink tea around 10am, tea with no sugar and one slice of sweet potatoe.

You will hate some days, and you will enjoy most days. Your grandmother will be your world. But,you will not understand that. You will feel abandoned by your real parents

You will burn your feet twice, trying to carry a pot of boiling water. You will be scared to tell your grandma, because you know she does not have money or the means to take you to the hospital. And, when she finally finds about it, she will befriend a neighbor kid to ride you on his bicycle to the clinic, and she will spend all her money there. She will also be bffs with the headmaster of the school; for you will go to school for free. You will study hard and get good grades and grandmother will be proud of you.

You will hate this time so much because you are being a kid. But, you will thrive as well. That house and time period will be the best and most critical time in your upbringing. You will hold on to those memories for the rest of your life. You will not appreciate them at that time, but you will appreciate them later – like now.

Eventually, your dad will come back from overseas. You will leave grandma’s house and go to “your” family house. You will be enrolled in a totally different school. A boarding school. You will stay there, sleep there, eat there. You will love it. You will prevail at it. At the end of the term/semester, you will go back home. Visit with your “siblings” because they go to day school (prestigious) and you go to a boarding school. You will see the difference every time. You will be okay. You will have friends that you will miss from school but cannot see because they live far away.

You will be best-friends with the maid because she gets you. She understands you. She really does. You will find solace in her. Holiday will end, and you will go back to school- your happy place. And so on, and so on.

  • Until next time…..The Teenage Years!

If you have made it this far, thank you for reading. This is the first of the series of “Dear…” The next story will be about my teenage years, then my college years, then finally what I consider my adult life.

Let me know, do we have something in common? If not, what is the one thing you remember so vividly when you were young? I would love to connect with you.

Comment below, xoxo

This post is dedicated to my grandmother who passed away 4 years ago. We miss her dearly everyday. RIP!

 

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10 Comments

  1. It’s so interesting to think back at different time periods of your life. I think if I had to write a letter to my 10-yr old self I would tell her to be kinder to herself. To not try so hard to please everyone else. Instead, only work on pleasing yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

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